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Since the time that people began talking
about finding their "inner child," I have wondered whether there would be a time
when we would try to find some parents. After all, all these inner children are orphans,
or at least latchkey kids, without "inner parents." And the more I have
worked with women struggling to recognize that they have desires and needs that deserve
attention, the more important I think it is to find the part of yourself that
will give that attention.
When you care about what you need and
want, the universe feels safer.
You might start this process
with a meditation. Or sometimes the process begins with asking
yourself, "Am I hungry?" But it rarely ends
there. Once you care about whether you are hungry, you care about what you are
hungry for. You care about being entitled to enjoy eating (see Mindful
Meals). And what that food feels like being metabolized (see Every Body Part Gets a Vote). You realize you know quite a bit
about your body already (see Body Intelligence), and it's time to
stop verbally abusing it (see Your Body Hears). And maybe what
you're hungry for doesn't turn out to be food at all. And maybe you try to get
what you're wanting. What a concept!
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